Licence to DRIVE! (part 1)

The wheels on our car go round and round,

round and round, round and round,

The wheels on our car go round and round, all over Israel!

(Just to get a license, registration and plates!) I'll get the car soon but 1st.

For those of you who don't know by now,

We found a cute orphan baby puppy in the Merkaz (Shopping Center) we couldn't resist it so decided to take it home. Elkie did not want him in the house but named her "Shoko" (Chocolate Milk). The kids all loved it and wanted to keep it. We tried to keep it by some neighbors and let the kids play with it after school.

But after a few days the kids saw that they could not take proper care of it, so we gave it away to the family who was caring for it. Since they live down the block the kids can still visit and walk it.

At least they got the need for a puppy out of their system and learned how big a responsibility it is to care for one.

Wed. night I had a Bat Mitzvah Gig and Shulchan Dovid that's on הר ציון Mount Zion, where the name Zionism comes from. It's right outside of the Old city in Jerusalem. I hired a Drummer by the name Shlomo Deshet who works with a band Esta and people like Gad Elbaz. The last time he worked with Aish was in NY about 12 years ago, before he returned to Israel. I am very picky with Drummers and Shlomo can follow whatever style I play and synchronize with all the little embellishments lines and groves I create. It was nice to work with him again. B"H the gig went great, most of the guests were from the 5 towns NY. (Woodmere) When it was over I decided to go to the Kotel. It was only a 5 min. drive there with NO traffic at all. At about 12:30AM I pulled into Shaar Yaffo. The parking lot at the top is for residence of the Old city, but the Guard was very nice and let me park for an hour free. I caught a late Maariv, then headed back to RBS. In NY I used to go to Duncan Donuts after gigs. Going to the Kotel for Maariv instead is a nice change.

Ok now the car. I waited to write about the car until everything was done to avoid Ayin Harah. To get a drivers license and a Car registered in Israel is a MAJOR task. B"H it is now done after about 3 months of working on it. If I wrote about all the details I could probably right a book about it. But instead I'll give you a summary of the experience. Maybe print this and read it on Shabbos.

Ok here we go. 1st the Divers License:

We decided to Ship our 1998 Chevy Astro from NY. Nefesh B'nefesh does not recommend shipping most cars, but we felt in our case it made sense since it is a large strong minivan (8 passengers) in good shape that we like, plus it’s the least expensive option for us. Now that everything is all done I think it was worth it, although not for everyone it depends on your needs and finances. In order to release the car from the port you need an ISRAELI driver’s license. Unless you are a tourist or diplomat, then you can import a car temporarily. To get the license you 1st go to a registered location to have you picture taken and get a “Green From” (Tofes Yarok). Most people we spoke to from Beit Shemesh do this in the Jerusalem Mall. Since we did have the car it's a bit of a schlep to get there. I looked at the Nefesh B'nefesh (NBN) website and they did not have and locations for Beit Shemesh. Being the son of Shirley Walfish I decided to call them Just to make sure. As it happened Zev from NBN checked the ISRAELI government website and found a location in Beit Shemesh called "Optica Speed" GREAT! so he gives me the number but sorry NO ADRESS listed on the website. I call the number and there is a machine stating the times they take pictures for licenses GREAT! but NOT stating their address, I try finding them in directories to no avail. I ask around no one knows of this place. We just know it's in the Merkaz Mischary (Shopping center) of old Beit Shemesh. Fine we jump on a bus head to Old beit Shemesh about 30 min later were there looking around town for the store. Low and behold we find "Optica Speed" GREAT! and their open! there is a bit of a line so Elkie waits there and I head over to "Bituach Leumi" (National Insurance) to straighten out something. Government offices close early like 12:00PM or 1:00PM I call Elkie to tell her to tell the woman I am almost done and to wait till 12:00PM the official closing time. I am done 11:53AM and RUN!!! to "Optica Speed" with great “Speed” I get ther 11:58AM 2 minutes before closing time GREAT! think again, the woman had to pick up her daughter from Gan so sorry. Well at least Elkie got her Green form. I had to come back the next day and got it then. Back on the bus to RBS.

Next Morning I take the bus to Beit Shemesh. They take a picture and check your eyes, in the same place! In the Jerusalem Mall you need to do that in 2 separate stores. Ok, Now we have to go the physician who has to fill out this holy green form to say that we are physically fit to drive. Like our NY Drivers license is not good enough or the upcoming road test for that matter. OK we get to a doctor back in RBS he fills out our Green forms, GREAT! But wait there’s a problem my Green form has the wrong address on it. It’s the address of my friend that I must have given 5 years ago when I became on Oleh. I don’t want the wrong address on my license. So I go back to Beit Shemesh to “Optica Speed” she tells me go to Misrad Hapmin “The Interior Ministry” and have them correct my address, then everything will be updated. B”H Misrad Hapmin is across the street. I show them my Teudat Zehut they tell me Shlomo Walfish doesn’t exist. I said that’s nice well please tell me who am I??? They say come back in 10 min. 10min later I come back they are on the phone trying to straighten it all out. Apparently my records are all messed up, I guess they missed me for 5 years. 10 min later they print up a new address paper for my Teudat Zehut and everything is now fixed and correct. GREAT! Now we can go to the Misrad Harishoy (License Office) or DMV.

So far everyone is pretty nice. That’s about to end. Let’s call the woman there “Miss Nasty”, think of her like a big black nasty Shvartzas at DMV in NY. We show her our licence and Green form, she says do you have a photocopy of your license? I said NO! She said well get me one. I said don't you have a photocopy machine??? she said NO! go to Office Max by the shopping center (a 7 minute walk X's 2 ways) This is the country that invented Intel and about a million other things and they don't have a photocopy machine in the DMV which apparently need one everyday! I walked into Supersol next door and asked them if they had a copy machine and could they please make a copy at 1st they said yes then when they saw was for the Misrad Harishoy they said NO! I offered to pay them they said we told them to get their own machine and people should stop bothering us. Shimmy said if Supersol had any brains they would install a pay copy machine in the store and make a mint. So I run to office Max make copies then run back. Miss Nasty screams at me that I went to Supersol, apparently they came in and yelled at her to get a machine and stop having people come to them. I feel like we are in 1st grade here. Miss Nasty looks at my Green form then my teudat Oleh and tells me I am not an Oleh since I became and Oleh when we bought the house in 2003. You have 3 years to convert to an Israeli license and have them recognize a foreign one, otherwise you are like an Israeli teenager who has to take a written test 23 lessons, $$$$$, time, pain in the NECK, yada yada. Well as far as I know I was only in Israel for 10 days in 2003 then came back to the US for 5 years so basically my Oleh rights Froze and I have a Teudat Oleh reinstating my Oleh rights to prove this. The Absorption ministry (משרד קליטה) recognized this. Miss Nasty couldn't care less she just yelled a bunch of stuff in Hebrew and said next. Well Elkie had it and yelled at her that we are Olim and she can try to be helpful instead of being a "RASHA" boy that got here attention. She made a face and said (אני לא עזרת) "I am not a personal helper or assistant", Elkie said thats right (את לא עזרת) "You are not helping us" then some nice guy explained she can't do anything. This is NOT good, no Israeli license NO car, I did not have time for this. The car is in my name to I need so release it. I call Zev at NBN he says he will speak to a top guy at Misrad Harishoy in 2 days. I cross my fingers and pray. I started looking for info on this written test called “Mivchan Teoria” (Theory Test) and find out they just changed it and even though you can take it in English there is no book to study for it. NOT good! I speak to a woman in Beit Shemesh she tried to read the book in Hebrew but failed the test 7 times NOT good! More praying!

After 2 days I speak to Zev, NO good his contact to Misrad Harishoy can't change this technicality so I have to take the written test. The main rule in Israel is NEVER give up. In either case you need to take 1 driving lesson before the road test. So I post a message looking for a good road instructor. I get a bunch of names and the same name from 3 people and older guy David in Talpiyot Jerusalem. Sounds like an honest guy who doesn't want you taking 10 lessons with him. Ok I call him and tell him my problem. He tells me to go to the "S'gan Menahel" (assistant supervisor) in the Misrad Harishoy in Talpitot and tell him my problem. At this point I'll try anything, even the Ari's Mikva. (Brrrrrr) I find the location and even number for the main Misrad Harishoy office and call to make SURE they are open and that this Guy Michael is in. The woman puts me on hold checks it out gets back yes Michael is in today. Some guy Matt shipped stuff with us and came to pick it up from Jerusalem. So I get a ride with him there to catch the 2 evening hours on Wed. Ok off to Jerusalem I get there on time get to the office look around for him, guess what??? he is gone to the day. Great! They told me come in the Morning Ahhhhhhh, thanks for telling me this Miss Secretary on the phone. Back to RBS by Bus.

The next morning I had the Levi bris in Jerusalem, B"H I found a ride there. When it was over Uncle Ali Thee drove me to Talpiyot, since they close at 12:30PM I didn't want to take ANY chances of being late and got these 10:50AM GREAT! Right?

NOT!!! There is a sign on the door today we are closed at 10:30AM. This is not happening. It's like landing in Chelm or a bad dream. Could you imagine the DMV in NY closing their door with a note, we are closed at 10:30AM today we just worked too much. Back to RBS on the Bus.

I post a message looking for a ride to Jerusalem tomorrow, no concrete answers. So next day I go to the back exit of RBS and Hitch a ride to Talpiyot, GREAT! the woman driving is going straight there. I get there real early, walk in find Michael's room it's open a crack, I knock and walk in he looks at me, I ask if he is Michal's he nods. I told him my instructor David sent me to him, then tell him my problem that my car is at the port and I need an Israeli licensee to get it out and they want me to take the written test and I don't have the time for it, yada yada. He said you need to speak with a "Pkida" (clerk). So he walks with me to the main waiting room with clerks, cuts the long line, and briefly explains it to a clerk, then he tells me she will tell you what you need to do. I think oh nooooo he is just passing the buck to her now. She was Russian and understood the situation she asked for proof that I was only in Israel 10 days not 5 years. I showed her my Stamped American passports. So she said the clerk in Beit Shemesh didn't know that you don't need the written test. Good going Miss Nasty. She then said she will erase what the Miss Nasty wrote on the Holy Green form and correct it. Home Run! She fixed it all, and stamped it. I thanked her and told her she was a BIG help and made my Chag Sukkot. I am Now officially off the hook for the written test and have clearance for the road test GREAT!

My instructor gets me a test set up next week right before Shukkot. The road test is called מבחן שליטה literally translated (control test) In Israel if you want to drive a Manual you need to take a test on one, then they indicate it on your license. Since I can drive Manual, I want the test on one. The instructor recommends 2 lessons then the test to get used to the Manual. OK... considering he got me out of the written test I'll do whatever he says. I meet him next week give him the Holy Green form, he writes some stuff on it. I start driving around Talpiyot. Talpiyot is VERY hilly and has lots of curves and turns, this is not where you want to be taking a road test, but this is where it is for me. He is a good instructor and tells me what to do to pass the test like keeping the car in Gear even when costing downhill, instead of my habit of putting it in neutral. Ok 1&1/2 later he thinks I'm ready for the test. We go to the Post Office to pay about 60NIS (Shekel) for registering for the test and then wait a bit. In Israel you pay for just about every Gov. fee at the Post office. They should start selling Bagles and coffee there.

We now go and meet the Tester. He gets in and says Shalom, doesn't crack a smile and said "Sa!" (Drive!). OK I'm diving so far so good. Right, Left, up down. This guy is looking for something. Go straight, all of a sudden BAM the car stops, he jammed on the brake since the lane I was in just became a left tuning lane. There were no signs indicading this so there was no way for me to know. He yells "Asur Lehiyot Po." You are not allowed to be here. Although there is nothing illegal about being in a left turning lane, you just have to make a left turn, which I could have done. Ok I move to the right lane and continue straight, I even stop by a crosswalk to let a woman cross even though Her foot was on the curb so I still had the right of way. Everything else was perfect, it was about 10 min. of driving and almost over. I was turning back into the testing lot parking, we were at a Red light going uphill, I was the 3rd car things are looking pretty good, the light turned Green 1 car went straight the next cab made a right turn into the Licensing parking lot which is where I was going, then I moved up BAM!!! he jammed on the break, and yelled “follow the light not the cab.” The light had just changed. It happened real fast only 2 cars went so it must have been a very short light. I did not run the light I was in Gear moving uphill in a stick shift. He did not even give me a chance to stop. I said I was pulling up, I would have stopped at the light. He said tell that to me next time. NO Good! at 5PM the instructor called me with the results. "NECSHAL" Failed!. I am diving 23 years I drove pretty darn well in curvy hilly Talpiyot, but not good enough for this guy. I had to pay 600NIS for the lessons and test anyway.

B"H the car was not here yet since there was a strike at the port, so I still had some time left to get my Drivers licence. Over the Chagim there is no testing, the next test available was for 2 weeks later. On the day of my 2nd test my instructor wanted me to take another lesson, OK... if I fail this one, I have to take the WRITTEN test! PRESSURE!!! PRESSURE!!! I go to the Back road in RBS hitch a ride to Talpiyot, take another lesson. OK my instructor thinks I'm ready. We pick up a young frum woman I go in the Back and She takes a lesson, 45min later we pick up a young Kollel/Yeshiva guy and he takes a 45min lesson. The 1st test I was wearing dress clothing, now I decided to wear Jeans and a T-shirt. You never know what matters! All 3 of us are taking the test together. The tester gets in She is a Woman this time. She smiled and said Shalom. The Young frum woman was up 1st. The Tester wished her good luck. She was VERY nervous, at one point did not switch gears smoothly and the car was jumping. Then she went down a hill was in the left lane and stalled. No Good! we knew she failed. She pulled over and the tester said ok who wants to go next? I volunteered I just want to get it over with. I got in and boy was Hashem with me I drove Perfect! smooth turns no stalling, GREAT! very short test maybe 3 minutes. The next guy got in and also did pretty well. I paid another 600NIS At 5PM the instructor called I PASSED! and it only cost about 1600NIS that’s about $400. Back on on the bus to RBS. Next day I went to the Misrad Harishoy in Beit Shemesh and had Miss Nasty print up my temporary license (Zmani) the permanent one comes in the mail (Kavuah). At least Miss Nasty is good for something. The next day I get a call from my Shipper Avi your car has arrived in Israel did you get a license yet? I said of COURSE! :)

Stay tuned for Part 2. How I got the car registered.

Chanukah and winter update

It's been a while since out last post. B"H things have been real busy.

Since the last post both Elkies parents the Blumenreich's and my Mom came for a visit and returned to the states before Chanukah. We wanted to change a lightbulb that was real high up on the outside of the house and hard to reach. I asked Yosef how he would change it and he said he would climb up a rope and change the bulb. Well that got me thinking and I remembered we brought a fire latter with us. So I dug it out, brought to our bedroom Mirpeset and dropped it down to the ground. Then I went downstairs climed the latter and changed the bulb. What we do for our guests.

The Blumenreichs took the kids to the Safari and hung our here a lot, we went shopping for some new things and Mottie fixed some odds and ends in the house. When My Mother came, she took the kids to the Time elevator in Yerushalayim and had a good time in RBS. She took Yehuda to Gan and checked out Yosef in Yeshiva learning in the Zilberman method. For those of you who never heard of that, they basicly learn the entire "Tenach" (Torah) and Mishna by 8th grade. Quite an accomplishment!

Yosef in Talmud Toras Moshe (Click to Play)

Frimmy and Yitzchock Yehuda and Channah came over for Shabbos. We all had a good time. They can take a GREAT! Egged bus from their Apt. Straight to RBS to a bus stop thats about a 2 min walk from our house. There is a Bus to Jerusalem from RBS about every 20 min. That's very convinient and they did not even have to go to the "Sachono Merchozis" (תחנה מרכזית) 

Chanukah was Great! most people in our block light outside with the Chanukiya (Menora)  in a special enclosed glass box. We didn't have the setup yet B"H next year we will join the block lighting outside. One nice thing about lighting inside is that when we finished lighting we opened the Mirpeset door I played the piano and we all sang chanukah songs. Apparently the people on the block enjoy the free nightly concert. On the 24th I looked at Elkie and said isn't it X'mas??? she said "ooooh yeeeeah! I forgot about that thing". There are no trees and lights and santa clowns anywhere in sight. With that in mind and part of the exile still in us, I proceeded to play a bunch of Holiday season songs. Like the ones I've heard in Dunken Donuts the entire December for years in the US. As a musician I can tell you some of those songs are truly lovely although the lyrics may be coocoo. Being the considerate new olim on the block, I closed the door so that we don't Undue the "Persume Nisa" of Chanukah. After a good few minutes of plowing though some of the HOLIDAY songs, we hear a knock on the door. Ah Ow...! It's our neighbor Yitzchok Montal (Mickey Montal from Bagels and More's Brother). He said "Shlomo, your supposed to leave that stuff in the exile"  Trying to come up with some good excuse I said well most of those songs are written by Jews... He said "I'm lighting the Chanukiya and trying to concentrate and have Kavana on saying some tehillim but it not easy to when I hear Jingle Bells on the block" Elkie told him don't worry Shloime got it out of his system. We all had a good laugh. The funny thing is if we had Israeli neighbors they probably wouldn't have even know what those songs were! 

  

Sivivon Sov Sov Sov  סביבון סוב סוב סוב

 

Yehuda is always helping Abba & Mommy around the house. He wants to be Bob the builder and B"H is very mechanical  and handy. I can be on a later or under the sink and ask him to go to my Red tool box and get a wrench, he will go running and come back with a wrench in a minute. I just taught him the difference between a wrench and needle nose pliers. 

When the sink needs fixin, who you gona call? Yehuda the fixer

I just picked up a new Computer Keyboard at "Ace" for about 27NIS that's about $7 it has english and Hebrew on it so I can now type in Hebrew much easier. Perhaps that's one item that you want to bring from Israel to the US if you want to type in hebrew עברית.  I don't have spell check so expect spelling mistakes.

So many funny things happen all the time it's hard to keep track of them. We will try to remember to post some more often. Like the other day Elkie and I went to the מחלקת גביה "Machleket Gvia" the department for taking your money, in charge of "Arnona" Municipal taxes, B"H we worked things out, when we got out we saw a car blocking us and REALLY had to leave. Then I noticed a Nachman sticker on the back. 

That's a sticker that says   נ נח נחמ נחמן מאומן 

It's pretty much impossible to be in Israel for a few days and not notice it. It is a message from Rebbi Nachman of Breslav. There are thousands of cars with stickers of them, they are on phone booths, bus stops, buidings, Overpasses, Mountains, the street. It's holy graffiti. You can get the full scoop on its meaning here. So I told Elkie. She said she just saw a breslav guy walking into the building with a "Na Nach Nachman Meuman" Kippah on his head. So she ran in found the guy and asked if it's his car, he said yes without even asking how we figured out it was him, apologized and came out to move the car. Only in Israel.

200 years ago Rebbi Nachman said his light will be burning  when Mashiach comes. It's on fire in Israel and all over the world. Rebbi Nachman was truly unique. While most Mussar books focus on the bad things people have done, Rebbe Nachman gives specific advice and solutions on how to deal with just about everything. 

His big thing is  עבדו את השם בשמך "Serve Hashem with Joy" so much so, that he says being sad is worse then eating pork! since depression is a rejection that Hashem is running the events in your life and the world, and like Idol Worship. He claims that if someone can dig himself into the lowest place on earth, he can surly dig himself back out. For more on Rebbi Nachmans teaching I like to read R. Lazer Brody's daily blog. He is an AMAZING person, nick name Rabbi Rambo. since he served in the "Sayeret Mankal" Israel special forces. You can check out his blog at www.lazerbrody.net He lives in Ashdod and is under daily missle attack it is amazing to see how he responds to it with Emunah.

As you all know there is a war going on here. Even though nothing has happened in RBS or most of Israel B"H, everyone knows what's going on and know soldiers who are risking their lives to protect us. Rabbi Avi Weiss says Israeli Soldiers are the holiest Jews we have. I believe he is right without them there couldn't be all the torah learning in Israel as well as a normal and safe life for Millions of Jews. The Medrash states that Yisochor learned and Zevulan supported him, but Zevulan is greater for if it weren't for his support Yisocher could not learn freely. I think we can apply that Medrash to the holy Chayalim.

When driving around every now and then they announce on the radio "Azhara" warning in Ashdod or some other town in the south literally as a Missile is launched. Even though Most people in the country don't have to run to a מקלת Bomb Shelter B"H you feel connected to the people of those towns who you know ARE running to the Bomb Shelter. There are miracles every day both when these missiles land and for the Chayalim in Gaza. Hashem should continue to protect Am Yisrel. What you can do is say Teffila and have us in mind. I was playing at Reuvane Speigle's now Shefi-Gal (שפי-גל) daughters Sheva Brachot last week, when the choson got a call in the middle that his good friend Dvir Emanueloff was just killed in Gaza, he was the 1st soldier to fall in this war HY"D

This past Friday Elkie was inspired to do something for the חיילים (soldiers), so we planed to go visit some of them on an Army Base and give them some home cooked food. Arriella had her class make some nice colorful letters Yosef and Yehuda made one as well. When the kids were all home from school we went to the Army Base at the Check point of Gush Ezion, about an 18 min drive from us. We went with some neighbors  and had lots of food. After checking us out, they told us to park outside the base and let us in. It was a small base we went to a room that they were hanging out. They were happy to see us, and loved all the food. They were reading the letters we handed them from the children and you can tell it meant a lot to them. We asked then if they want to go to Gaza and they all said Yes. Amazing! they actually want to Kick some A...@#$%^&*

I thought it was really cool when we stepped into the lunchroom and saw that they keep a Kosher Kitchen. But thats what things are like in Israel we have a Kosher and holy Army.

 

   

  This guy is the commander 24 years old

For all you single Girls in the US check out these guys (made in Israel). You'd have a hard time finding guys like this anywhere else! For all you Married woman your Married! send your single daughters here.

Yesterday I went to Herzliya to get a form for our car, Today I went to Cholon to get another form, then I went to Yerushlaim to get the process of registering the car, then they told me Elkie need to be there to sign. So Tomorrow it's back to Yerushalim. I'll try to make a post just on getting a license and getting the car.  It's a story.

Till next time.

Don't forget to pray for the soldiers.